But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i love accidental penises.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
