My hand turned me down
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
