God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
