where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just invented taco cereal.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
