I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
