why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize