You really coming over, don't trick.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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