Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize