Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
