Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
