Yo dont text me then not text me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
