Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
