Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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