It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
