I'm going to jail i love you
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
