yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
