have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
