Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize