Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize
