I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
