She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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