I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
