I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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