Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wear drunk well.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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