i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
