Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
