Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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