He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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