there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize