Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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