Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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