the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
