the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
