it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
