forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
