You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
