As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
