At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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