i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
