THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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