I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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