If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
