If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
