Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize