Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
