i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
