Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
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