I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
