so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
