Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize