8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
