i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
