Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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