She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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