she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
