jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
