my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
