Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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