he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
