did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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