Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
