I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
