I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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